Parents

My mom told my dad to get out and he did.  Like the big strong man that he is, he avoided his problem by running.  They'll make up soon, they always do.  Parents aren't really mature when you think about it.  At least mine aren't.  They can create drama out of anything.  Makes me not want to get married.  He refuses to own his shit.  She can't see her own.  Couple of big babies.

My Papa was just diagnosed with Parkinson's.  Great.

My life is unraveling before my very eyes and it's like a car crash.  You want to look away but you can't.  I guess I'll just sit idly by while it all goes to crap.

Depression is like a warm bed.  When you wake up in the winter, you don't want to leave.  But eventually you get up.  After all, you have things to do.  You can't live your life properly if you're just laying in bed.  But once you get out of bed and feel that bitterly cold air, you start to think "I mean I can take online classes, right?  Who needs a job?  I'll just take those online surveys...I'll be good."  Depression becomes my warm cozy nook.  I'm not a fan of change.  It will take me a while to climb out of this pit I've dug.

Still recovering from my heart being obliterated.  Fuck boys.  Who needs 'em.  They're never who they say they are.  They're really good at tricking you into trusting them.  Don't do it.  You can't take back your secrets.  Keep them.  No one else deserves to know them.

My anxiety really bit me in the ass the other day.  I was set to audition for the play and freaked out last minute.  Second time that's happened this year.

I keep reliving my worst bullying experiences.  Whoever said that bullying makes you stronger was a complete moron.  I can't even sleep sometimes.  Stop romanticizing the aftermath.  Stop portraying bullying victims as strong people that don't care what others say.  It's inaccurate and absurd.  I'm so sensitive, sometimes the smallest thing can trigger a memory and send me on an emotional trip.  I'm trying to get help but I'm just so damn busy.  But of course there's time for me to get a job.

My sister's already messing shit up in college.  Changed her major, had 2 boyfriends and it's not even semester.  I just want her to be healthy and to be herself.  I hope a good guy finds her and helps her.  Heaven knows she needs it.

I forgot to write a 2 page paper.  Whoops.

Going to apply for a job tomorrow.  Yay.

I just told him a secret.  Why do I keep doing that?  I wish I wouldn't have.  I've become so compulsive lately.

My weight it getting worse and I have absolutely no fucks to give.

This whole blogging thing is pretty nice.  Mostly because I have no responsibility or reputation to uphold as a faceless name.

That's all for now.